XIX

you know the far guy at the far end of the bar who sings this song?

hes 47 or something and always brings his own cup to the bar

you'll see heads resting in far end hands remembering

"i want you, i want you, i need you, i need you"

two eyes that stayed blue meowing and

running under memphis in snake boots

singing at the far end for a missy as such

"i want you i want you i need you i need you"

in a past life wake up with

snakes sleeping in the sleeping bag

snakes that fate might make boots of

in my other past life id go to sleep in pools

that were just shockingly blue

that made you wonder what was going to go in the water

but anyway

you know how far forward you remember in past lives?

'but there aint no way im ever gonna love you'

'but there aint no way im ever gonna love you'

remember that all the way back to the ice age

or back to before you were human

and you just lived in muted grunts

future is far far

t

at the end of the bar so you can bring your own cup and even put ice in it because it gets inferno hot in memphis and the 48 is somewhere further down

XVIII

like that bastard cherry blossom
i was born laughing

middle of life's false floral,

get touched by something

jump a fence and siege a pool

try to find your skin under the dirt

no mames, security coming

find you looking up at all those

those clumsies, those confoundeds

those imbecile buildings




singing all like that you know?

oh its been found out!

exposed!
come to light!
like a filthy sewer rat swimming in classic trash

dissolving in pinks that were sadder memories,

running grimes in the chlorine that were like orchards


i rose to the top of the pool
just like a falling leaf
just like a blossom rat

XVII

that was black cypress bayou,

crouching probably 30 mph

and all that swamp yawns

all those blacks

some blues


them frozen blue vines,
poor guys, thems
thems pity freezy vines
jes in that bayooo


but might quiet,
might still
cept wings beating and buzzing
no listen tho
when a says,


"pity you black cypress bayou"
"give you a hug black cypress bayou"
"black cypress bayou, no more black lipstick"

XVI

o lord, i'm on high ground

down below, was that a disaster?

down below, snakes like black holes---slither shine, of course

i'd watch em live down there

them that smoke in their sleep---running from the gators, no doubt

i'd watch em chant in the swamps

under the horny moon

country i traveled through--how many wretched measurements?

where even the beetles turn into werewolves

i'd watch em live down there

i'd watch em live down there

i'd make everything holy again

i'd make everything holy again

lyin on my belly drinking from the river frothing---mouth frothing too, of course

id pray to turn into an animal

an animal in the flexing woods

id break my neck until the early morn

id turn my mouth upside down

id sing through my ears

id be the bad ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but there were explanations that were......scientific, or biological?

XV

since i learned to stand on my head

i havent felt like doing much walking,

just felt like collecting my blood

in a place where i feel it matters


so when i start to pass out

i forget what im about to fall onto

XIV

memories always sally forth

oh my word, how they sally

sallying like wild nudists,

charles manson has this song about a black pirate

a black pirate lives in this one corner of charles manson's mind

charles in the corner, smiling like a burning bush

holding a tiny black pirate

cupped in his manson palms

30 years after the murders,

charles manson is in this corner

glowering at the old hippies

"that shit

god dammit that shit

fucked the counterculture"

my dad used to say when he was drunk,

dad the drunk hippy vet

in his corner crushing a tiny charles manson

in his freddy palms

my mom used to say

she would go in my dads pockets

and find secret candy wrappers

secret snacking dad,

secret snacking daddy a-wanderin'

"everyone has their secrets"

mom smiled and said

i used to walk around looking up

and wonder what else dad had in those pockets

looking up at the sky

you dont see the shit on the ground

so you sometimes step

in it

in the shit

XIII

it was bare as a storm eye,

but like all things, it collected little items

little items on the way

so when i woke up, it was covered in oogles

they flailed through the wind,

through the sidings

out here theres a light behind the mountains

but you know it isnt coming from the sun

called ourselves freedummies

didnt have much by way of defense

against questions

against q's

"why do you do that?"

i could tell yins somethin',

but when i start havin' a life

i start feelin' dumb

i smile at people on the street now

keeping quiet

out back counting my power

looking at the black spaces

in the eye sockets