XXXVIII


i know that in every terrible family
theres a hyperactive dog

i know that i know some peoples' parents
might have raised me better


i know that i'm not that smart
and even though i can get away with
looking at where your third eye should be
instead of at your eyes plain on your face

i can't get away with saying a thing like
our spirits danced
but i mean really fuck you you know what i mean
i can look at the world however i want and say whatever the hell i want
and it isnt my fault and it aint your fault if my mind is just
a pond filled with broken mirrors and frogs howling in the storm

i know that i pose as a workman and i pose as an orphan
i know that every lie i tell is part of my own mean truth
i know that when i'm going somewhere i dont wanna get there
i hear the gongs ringing


the biggest thing in my life was florida because florida took me out of it like a red card
my dad went down to florida for work
his sense of duty told him to visit his brother who lived there
in every terrible household there is a sense of duty that tells you to
pay a visit to a deranged and terminally ill guy;
thats uncle bob

my dad went to clearwater
and through the screen door
he could see the flies
and deranged uncle bob
moving in the shade gloom
uncle bob, brother bob
opened up the door
and brought my dad
in through the screen
where the flies were yelping
and the tv was like the air
and the rug was wooden varnished
carrying old bones and hexes in it

everybody say that uncle bob spraypainted REVOLUTION on a building once
I wonder how uncle bob could fit in the cock pit of a fighter plane cuz
that mother fucker is fat as hell

uncle bob
showed me how he could chug
a bottle of schlitz in one go
on my birthday
and on new years
and on easter
at every funeral i've ever been to

deranged uncle bob owns a computer
deranged uncle bob hasnt ever told me
if he knows that everything grows out of trash
that every daffodil hides its roots deep in shit
shit like my dad, and uncle bob, and me, and my family

uncle bob talks on about islamic conspiracy theories
the prayer rugs that they found in the desert
the cluster bombs that see like they got 10 eyes
the colors of freedom waving somewhere

maybe my dad's a weak bitch
maybe my dad's not crazy but when uncle bob was waving his arms and screaming and trying to move and just in all a panic about the towel heads my dad went on and said,
"bob you believe this shit you gotta get some help brother there are no jihadis hiding in arizona not every muslim lady driving a minivan round tampa bay is smuggling 15 tons of bombs in her kids' underwear and packpacks why don't you just give it a rest bob you look like you done expired on the shelf brother you look like you shook hands with the bubonic plague man"

and uncle bob said dammit fuck fred you one of them and
shot my dad in the stomach
with a pistol he had in his boot




i'm an orphan, because my moms always been dead
and my dads real dead now
and uncle bob roams florida
deranged and wandering

uncle bob came over my house on his new motorcycle
i asked what kind it was and he's all, 'suzuki intruder'
i'm like you're right uncle bob
you're like the horseman of wal mart death i can see you intruding in every nook and cranny
and doing just about nothing but intruding
why didn't you just get a harley uncle bob
and uncle bob stutters like he forgot his destiny and his last name
and just says son you'll know when you're old and live with the phone off of the hook

i say to that hey there uncle bob you aint never been on a harley in your life you're just pissed with jealous because those harley guys dont ever wave to you when you squealing around on your intruder

uncle bob wasnt intruding much longer because he crashed his intruder at a red light at midnight in the florida rain and walked away spitting bubbles
singing some willy nelson
passed out in one of those big booths at a wendys
when i heard he was in the hospital i knew
that it was all good
cuz i could go and just
live in that fucker's house
but he didnt have any food
and the tv didnt have an off switch
and there were bats in the couch
and i fell down the steps
i smelled blood and confusion all over that place

uncle bob sent me a letter from the hospital
first he claimed that he had borne a son
a new son named kai
that was a lie
i called bullshit on uncle bob and he hung up the phone
then he said listen here jamie jimbo james, its about time
that you heard the story of my fucking childhood
i tried to hang up the phone but i was in uncle bob's house
and even after i slammed the phone on the hook fatass uncle bob
was still talking through the walls and i could see the sticky orange tree outside
and the fruit flies all talking to me and uncle bob's hyperactive dog with its blind eye
all telling me the story of uncle bob
i knew it was time for me to go home
but whenever i figure that out
i always stay out

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