okay so i've been somewhat neglectful of this but here are rough parts 9-11 of prayer rugs and in case you had forgotten i was just sitting in jail and someone had just come to claim me now who would that be???
9-
it shouldn’t surprise anyone that it was
an aunt
my aunt shall we say but it don’t matter
because theres always an aunt or a mother
somewhere behind the fence reaching
through the cracks and pinching
your cheeks or delivering your lunch
or a slap or other more
seriously enduring issues
but hey
why
talk about that shit now
My aunt in she wafts into the cell in yellows like
A fart hiding in the health food aisle of
A regular grocery store
its such a villainous thing you know cuz
most of the time you don’t even know
you have an aunt until its too late and
they’re at you’re door standing in the snow
on some Christmas morning that is gonna
be all hell of awkward cuz theres just
this aunt
that showed up and who the hell do you
think you are you aunts coming around
here all lookin like a creepy or a
more real version
of your mom or dad
who the hell do these aunts think they are
what gives them the right
to just come out of nowhere and
ruin a man for no good reason
I swear an aunt is like a garbagey bird
Divebombing you down in the swimming pool
a cheek I mean for god sakes everyone
knew that pinchin a cheek is no fun
way back in the 50’s so why does this aunt gotta pinch
even if she don’t touch you shes still pinchin but
I don’t talk to none of the aunts or relations or people
because they’re all batshit theres
Old Uncle Bob of course may he die slow
Theres the dead aunt judy
Theres the aunt beth practicing rituals in Bakersfield
Theres that creepy uncle who’s a lawyer
Theres the psycologist who gave me a softball for Christmas
Theres the camera man
The dude who works in Sloban autobody
The bouncer
The linguist
O and heres this aunt that I guess I have
Coming out of nowhere for no good reason
Just to ruin a man like some garbagey bird
Shoot
I’m still doing my first pushup I say
I’m busy aunt take thee away
Thou foul cloud, thou clod of doo
She pinched me and called me
Naughty then it was such an
Embarrassment she tried to pick me
Up and carry me out of the jail as if I were a fetus fallen from the clouds but I wasn’t having it I kicked and screamed so she tried to lead me out by the hand
And all the while she is yelling at the cops
Deploring the criminal reformation system
The prison industrial complex
Using all words and shit that nobody
Even trying to hear goddamit I tell you
These folks they get a hold of some damned book
By a dude with a black turtleneck on and they just go on
With their antidisestablishmentarianisms and
then she took me away, we
Left the Spaniard weeping into his hat, she
put me in the shotgun seat and she
put on some Bob Dylan, I
was gonna shit like
give me prison give me death take the aunt away from me I will not cooperate
with you you aunt
while you are singing Masters of War
I sing I Shall be Released
From you
We drove through Deerfield
She had this little black truck
Just covered to high hell with
These bumper stickers like
One of those little fish with legs
That says DARWIN
And another one said said
Kiss me I’m organic and
A lesbian
There was that coexist one
I mean you get the idea
“I’d rather be in New York City—
--then in tiny ass letters—
because New York City is the center
of culture and sophistication
and liberal outlooks”
and then there was this really
weird one that said
‘if you think this car is tiny
THEN YOU SHOULD SEE MY HUSBAND’
I was at a loss But didn’t ask her because
I knew the explanation would take a long time
but I tell you what,
I’d rather be fishin
I’d rather be in the archeology dig
I’d rather be back in 5
I’d rather be paragliding
I’d rather be google image searching boobs
I’d rather have a broom and sweep up the rest
I’d rather give you a taste of my boot
I’d rather be on the mountain
I’d rather be fruit punch
I’d rather be quick draw mcgraw
I’d rather not
It was all quiet and she said so
How does it make you feel
That you were in jail?
Then
Did you know
That I went to college?
Speaking of scholars and critics I
Bet they would all shit on this tale
I’m telling here like oooo well it
Appears to be nothing but
Adolescent drivel with a
Confused and longwindedly
Vague narrative in my
Opinion the piece isnt
Worth much in fact
It isnt worth anything,
Its simply bad and oh
That vernacular he employs like
The poor soul is trying to masquerade
As a louisianna swamp rat its all
Very trite………….
But I don’t give a shit I would tell
Em to can it I would say fuck you bookworms
I don’t need to defend a fucking thing I do the
Only thing I’ll say is that you can’t say shit
About how I talk cuz that’s one thing for sure
Is theres no fucking vernacular wherenever you
Go cuz the white boys talk like the niggers and
The city folk talk like the country people so I’m
Going to tell my tale in the way that I most please
And you can bite my ass if you got a problem ok
And ya I don’t know a thing about politics except
That it piss me off and a dude that don’t understand
A thing also get to rage in his corner in fact
That shit is mostly what America is
Supposed to be about
Right?
Well don’t tell me I forgot my
Pencil when I went to vote and
I accidentally said something
That offended a woman so I
Just kept my mouth shut but
I saw Wino Willie go by with
The rest of the boys
Riding the rude hogs
Just some rude dudes
They rode in the pack
‘O pack of wolf geese,
Take me with you I say,
Take me to booze fighter mountain,
Give me the leather vest
And the shades so that
We can live together and
Be like the outlaws of the marsh’
I was pressed up against
The window like a bat
But they didn’t see me
Because my aunt swerved
The car away and said
Oh my god jesus Christ
Its those fucking bikers
That live on the mountain
Those are TERRIBLE men
James you watch out for
THOSE kinds of people
They have beer guts but
Don’t have an education
Those men are EVIL
THEY DON’T RESPECT CULTURE
THEY VOTED FOR BUSH
THEY EAT MEAT AND DON’T COMPOST
NO THEY DIDN’T THEY DIDN’T VOTE AT ALL
THEY KNOW PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY
Whatever says I sitting slouchy
I draw cryptograms in the
Window with my breath and
Concoct something cruel cuz
I am the Ron Jeremy of hate
Its like 3 feet long haha
I have been waiting for a while
To burn something to the ground
Watch me while I put on
My boots and rise from
The bed where I have
Dreams and nightmares
Where I am the infected ship
Drifting into port
See me in the early morn
Where the yellow flag hangs
Where the mist covers the docks
And the sailors and loaders by the marina
They see me drifting, cursed lantern,
Cracked yellow paper it’s the sign
That disease is wafting over town
Nobody knows what im thinking bout
thank god
In the house my aunt brewed some bullshit
And I was looking around the room
I had never been there before I think
My aunt forgot that I existed before
She heard my dad got killed she probably
Thought it was her duty to take care of
A wayward waif
She sure as hell didn’t want to tho I could just tell
I asked if there was a TV and she laughed like
I was the king of funnies and said
“Haaaahaaaaaaaa how drole of course not
Television will rot your mind” then she
Took out this little computer wrapped in
Bark and said I only listen to the news
And she said you know james I am very
Informed
About the state of the world and of this country
I would be very glad to teach you about the
Things I know
And she showed me a
Powerpoint presentation
About fairtrade coffee and how
IT WAS UNJUST!!!!!!
Again she said let me teach you
I said no i’ll teach you about goin to the store
And buying a goddam tv
so I can watch COPS
I’ll teach you about
The flower drum
Crescent Moon b4 dawn
Butterfly lovers
Hoo hoo
I put my finger up to my mouth
And grinned real coy naughty
She sighed and I think she called me a philistine
Under her breath
like a coward
And she said to change the subject
You know, this country is being ruined
There are so many poor, uneducated people in this country
And they are ruining everything, really
They’ll bring us all down to their level
For instance, look at these articles here
I didn’t move from the couch so she said
Out loud like standing behind a podium,
IDIOT MAN BELIEVES IN GOD
REPUBLICAN NEWS CHANNEL LIES
NEW WALMART LOCATION DESTROYS A DUCK’S HABITAT
TEXAS MAN BEATS UP HIS DAUGHTER
CONSERVATIVES ASSEMBLE SOMEWHERE AND THREATEN
FOOL MISPELLS THE HOLY QU’RAN IN CONSERVATIVE NEWS REPORT
REPUBLICAN STEALS SOMETHING FROM THE TREASURY AND LIES LATER
STUDIES REVEAL THAT IF YOU DO NOT USE ECO FRIENDLY TOILET PAPER YOU ARE A BAD
INDIVIDUAL
IN FACT YOU BASICALLY HAVE KILLED
A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL OF SOME SORT
she hovered in the corner with her elbow
Resting on a book about impressionist painters
It was making me crazy I imagined
Dance at Bougival that dude is smoking meth in the background
Path Leading to the High Grass How many Bud Limes can you shotgun?
Starry Night Just farted dude
Ya I know impressionism is the only like real art but you know
this goddam aunt has that coffee table book in her house its
just hard for me to bang it into my head that some things are
still rad even when a goddam dirty aunt is in the social club all
goin off about monet or manet I cant remember the difference
but another thing that is hard for me to bang into your head is
that I have no real feeling about anything at all SO THERE I
JUST WANT TO WATCH COPS ON TV IM DREAMING AGAIN
I said you bitch it smells like kombucha
Get me out of here I have business to attend to
At this very moment and I shall not be impeded
By some goddam knitting circle drum circle
devil hippy I’m gonna nail your ass
I tried to jump up and kick her with my steel toe but
She was college educated she lived in Berkeley too
And she resisted like a white cow in the road I could see her
Muddy little eyes glowing like the bottom she said
I am resisting non-violently and grabbed me
But I socked her in the schnoz and
ran away to the room where she put my stuff
And hid underneath the grateful dead blanket
I threw a tiny tantrum I turned into a
Chihuahua I shit on the floor and yipped
Also peed in a place that I will not reveal
Then I wrote in doggie slobber on the walls
‘I hate the whole fucking world
so the world
better hate me’
I escaped out the back and fell in
The compost pile filled with McGriddles wrappers
Now aint that funny you aren’t supposed to be
Eating that shit you wacky liberal
reap what you
Sow you fucking cow
I squatted in the bushes and said to myself you know this lady is just like everybody else she full of shit she trying to act like she got it all covered and politically correct and shit like 24/7 but cant nobody keep that shit up all the time just look at this its ridiculous everyone turns into a fascist especially when they’re trying their hardest not to so you know what I think I’m just gonna write this note to my aunt here and high tail it cuz you know I feel bad about her being a crazy shes really gonna hurt somebody one day if she don’t watch out but there isnt too much I can do about it cuz I have to get going I have to be on my way I have to go kill my uncle because he killed my father isnt that the right thing to do I don’t know so much anymore but I hear music playing from somewhere nearby it sings
Laaaaaaaaaaaady in red is daaaaaaaaancing with me!!!
You know it’s the best when
Something dumb happens right
When you’re thinking
Something too serious
So I sang laaaaaaaaaady in red and
I wrote the note to my aunt:
“REMEMBER THE FUTURISTS
YOU’RE JUST LOOKING AT
THE OTHER END OF THE CALENDAR
FUCK YOU”
Then I tied my note to a piece of processed salami
It was the first time I had used all caps
I guess I was really pissed but no matter I
threw the note in the window and
when I heard the bang I knew
that my aunt had read it and
hahaha that was perfect I didn’t even
Have to make a bomb she just
blew her damn self up
when she read the note
10-
I ran away walked down the road
With a straw hat and my step was
Like paris going down in flames it wasn’t long
Before I hitched a ride with Wino Willie
Funny seeing you again it must be fate whats
Your astrological sign my man?
No answer of course
he let me ride in the side car he gave me a
good road soda and the goggles to wear
he looked over I think he smiled but
his beard hid it all
so wisely calculated
we drove over the mountain
I saw the stronghold
The ladies and the boys of booze fighter mountain they all
saluted me it was a great day for a dude and
They threw me the leather vest
From afar
It said, “BOOZE FIGHTER MOUNTAIN GANG”
I had the name tag
said “hobo jimbo”
I said bravo bravo boys you are too kind
And I saluted the mountain gang with every
Kind of cheer I knew and
It was strange I felt like
I had only roasted
One weenie
Round the fire
Before I was spinning in a
Circle I was like a pissed
Ancestor spinning in my urn
If I had a soul it would have
Been whistling Dixie and
Shooting the buck off at
That fucker in the moon and
Suddenly I was saying
Goodbye!
Goodbye ladies and gents of
Booze fighter mountain I
Will be back you know!
and they said
Come on back now the
Catskills they got big arms
And dam sho there is room
For you here right on with us
You know the moon is a plate
Every night and it just heaped
With the dinners for all so just
Whenever you want to come
Back we will light the fires
And sing the songs got it?
I said aye and shed a tear
For I wanted to stay on the
Mountain but I had to go and
Kill uncle bob and besides I
Knew that if I stayed I would
Eventually hate it
Durn how that happens and
I would tell you more about
It but you know that thing
Where it’s a lot easier to
Talk about hell than heaven
Well it happened here just
Like it happened to Dante
And just like it happened
To Milton and pretty much
Everybody else you all know
How aint no poet gonna write
A thing except about one
Kind of hell or another
Nowwwww wellll then aint we all
Just a bunch of blue yodelers sheesh
But that’s just that so
the things I like the most,
I high tail it on away from so
That I can stick em in my bag
That way I can dream about em later
But I don’t tell noone about that
11-
and
you know that’s what really
saves a dude or a lady,
its those dreams they save up in the backpacks and it’s the ones that stay at the bottom
down with the busted pens and the receipts down in the dust so that you cant trade em
for a backstage pass and a goddam picture of yourself
in a coffee table book in an aunt’s house
it’s the dreams that stay dreams you don’t want them to come true because if they did
they wouldn’t be dreams anymore and most folks know that the rest is garbage
So when I go in the wilds I look in the patches of dark green and I wonder when
Will that day come when I can look in the eyes of the fawns hiding back there and
I wont start quaking in my boots while I’m getting wacked in the face by
Fantasies of starving and beards, wrists all lookin like a darn cheese stick,
Oooooo lost In the snow gone forever how
do I even think in the silence?
How do I live back there its wet in the mornings and at night
it doesn’t matter if
Anything is in bloom
what I mean is that
If the woods give you nightmares
You’re probably giving the woods bad dreams
I was going around in the woods somewhere i
Don’t mean to be a pastoral but sometimes it’s a
Place where you just end up
and I got to thinking
About the whole thing
with my backpack heavy
As hell
and the water was wide
and I got to thinking
That maybe this wasn’t even about my dad and Uncle Bob
Anymore and maybe i was just pissed off cuz I’m a little dude and
Sometimes I get too big for my britches
and I think that I’m right
and somebody else gotta be wrong
in that case
so I gotta show em
that I’m right
ya I was pretty much
Losin it
I climbed into the abandoned
Nests I listened for the good I
Sat in the field and forgave the
Whole entire world I really
Meant it that time I tied
My last bottle of whiskey to
A balloon and sent it away
Shooed it away real polite wrote
A note and tied it to the bottle dedicated it
As a gift to the man on the moon who we all know
Does nothing but get down on an old Jim Beam
Well now this here is the problem I have is
That I cannot figure out if I should hate
Everything or love everything and then
I realize that everything shouldn’t even
Be in the goddam equation because when
I think it over I’m probably 5 feet tall and
I ride the bus and sometimes have bodily functions and
Cant do complicated math and when I think about
Complicated historical stuff or a philosophy thing i
Usually shit my pants so in short I
Am about as significant as a pube
And I just wound up on my back
I gave my dreams to various owls
And listened to their hoots I just
Laughed and laughed and mused like a dumbass Its so funny
how you can hate a person just cuz
You think you got them figured out and
It’s a goddam riot how smart you think
You are sometimes we all ought to get
Down on our knees and take it all back
Because you never know a goddam thing but
having somebody tell you that
Just fucks it up even worse,
I rock back and forth
with the tide
face down covered in
Starfish how I calmed the tides of the moon and
Did a waltz by myself without
Feeling too bad about it and
Sure I listened to the flute
And shed those big wet ones
By and large I was raving for days:
Back behind there where I
Was staying at the time when there was the new moon I had to do my best to remember that I was the outlaw of the marsh because
I can never remember who plays the goddam villain and who is the good guy
So time and times I wonder while I lay in the grass and
Watch the horsemen suffer without their horses
It is very modern feeling today you know
You can see it on the thermometer that’s one thing
That makes me feel bad I wish I didn’t have to shit all over
The future and hold up a crazy sign outside the store where
I watch the folks weeping in the appliance aisle buy one
Get one free in exchange for your firstborn son
Holy hell I say where did this hooey come from why
Do folks gotta do that why cant I jes go n lay on
The pallet I made on yo flo sigh sigh I say right
i know that i pose as a workman and i pose as an orphan
i know that every lie i tell is part of my own weenie truth
i know that when i'm going somewhere i dont wanna get there
I am thinking of walking up the mountain path
i hear the gongs ringing I remember the slain times I
re-recall my orphaning and the legacy of
the saddest man he was my uncle bob
and how this old world covered him up
with the spade and the dirt
I watch from my perch and
I say that all of you can take your success
And sit on it go on and shove it up whatever
I just fall out the ground laughing til my sides
Hurt when I think about how crazy I was out
In the marshes and then my laughs come so
Hard that I near choked when I thought about
How everyone in the towns and cities and
Little tiny towns doesn’t think its downright
Crazy to be walking along somewhere and
See someone else walking along going somewhere
Why don’t you just dig me a
Hole you think it can fit in i don’t mind if
Everyone thinks I suck or failed I,
The dude of the blue yodel with the
Backpack full of smoke its just that
I will live a small life and I swear to
God I will never hurt no one I will
Leave you all alone because I know
If I try to follow all of you and make
You stop I’ll just fuck it all up worse
its like everybody that outgrows the
britches that they were born in I
got baggy pants and no twitter account,
its alright with me to sink back down
there in the gray fumes I feel alright
it doesn’t scare me like it does you and
perhaps I’m still just an incomprehending tyke I aint got
no one to take care of because that changes
things a whole lot but you wont see me
runnin around new york in a fashiony
way with a lady in the back room of the
Vietnamese restaurant treating the waitress
Like shit and checking my facebook and
Paypal account bah you can have that shit
I don’t want no apartment painted white with
Skulls covered in gems and some fur coat its
Like I’d rather spend my whole life walking
Straight to hell than I would barter with the
Devil for a trinket my wampum is no good
Just forget all about this dude right here I’m
Off to call it quits and get back to the dreams
and if you’re sick of hearing about
dreams and hearts I can see where
you’re coming from and maybe i
am a big cornball see me enter the
room holding the cheese platter to
everyone’s dismay but to hell with
it I don’t give a damn if its cheesy
I like that kind of stuff I think its important
And it sure as hell don’t mean I’m walking
Towards the grave too soon no no as I said
I sing no more blue yodels I just live with
The owls back there I have my tinies and
My daisies and the songs I didn’t want to
Be a hermit either i just set up a stronghold
Deep in the swamp we didn’t want the papers
To report about us but we hung up a sign that
Said Outlaws of the Marsh we collected swords
For purposes of honor we treated the animals
And the folks all very nicely and came out
Of the water banging the gongs together but
of course it was only me
living there
its not a popular calling I knew long ago that
Everyone is sick to hell of poets and outlaws and
Young folks who have been treated wrong by society
So not too many came to my outlaw camp
for two reasons
One because everyone knew it was just old news
They were off doing something new doing what
They call making history you know by making
Something seem old making a deal with horned one
You can check it out on tumblr
it will get sent
Right to your phone
The second reason was that I didn’t actually
do any outlaw sort of things
but there were pals that visited me
I kept them in my dreams like I always do there was
Tie he was the first guy who ever made me wake up and hey
Luke too he made everything fucked up seem like it would go away and
There was Ric he took me off into places I didn’t know where there there
Was Nico we did the moon ritual together that was the first time I felt a spirit
All it did was smile down at me
There was Larry we stood on the balcony and we sang a tune I don’t think many other folks have heard
There was Dilly Dawg Jamie he kept the coals burning even when we had to scrape em there Was Harry he drove the car around and dam sho we all rode all around the stronghold Harry at the wheel and the boys in the back we were the outlaws of the marsh even if we werent particularly outlaws none of us had the golden mark of the criminal on our faces and in fact I don’t think any of the other outlaws were there except in my bag of dreams and that’s what counts I was lying on my back underneath a tree somewhere by the lake I was having one of the dreams and did my best not to tromp on the wildflowers when I pranced new found foal and every day the hill looks like a bottle, the far away place, the flower drum, the embroidered pouch, the rendezvous in the yurt, the morning star lily,
I danced them all I remembered night with my tender heart
I remembered when
I took a great notion
I remembered black ghost fish at the bottom of the lake sticking
my hand deep in its throat its called
noodling for anguish
I remember black tar melancholia
I remember the lake girls who forgot my name and
drowned in the reeds
the tool shop in the basement where the things that fucked me
were hammered out in the soot
oh yes how I do recall and with such a fondness because I am feeling alright I am pleasant in the hillside
but I will never be holier than thou find me
down bottom feeding with catfish
I had been patrolling the sentry points
All day trying to see over the mountain
Breathing the air and such but I
Just keep on thinking and thinkin
For god sakes I had a long talk with
A good friend and
When I explained to him how I had it all
Figured out it was grand then
I went off by myself and
It all went to shit
Because I think that
Folks are good and
That it will be alright but
Why do my friends
Gotta die before theyre due it
Just upsets the bejesus outta me
And though I’m here on the hill
My outlaw post in the fall and
The mountains keep me hidden
All away I’m just thinking bout
How a good friend I know wants
Just to die and he wants to die
Cuz hesa good dude one of the
Best dudes I know and this shit makes
Me feel like I’ve been guzzling the
Yellow wine all day the whole world
Turns into shaky piss it’s a horror I say
I build the dams and before I can piss
The yellow tides just taken away those
Things I built and
I’m careering latenite on the opposite
Color the night is navy and like the
Velvet in the back rooms I’ve gone
And decided that I just buckle up
My boots without crying for my
Widow and just trompin round
Like all hell of the grace of zen
And eternal love because dam sho
You tell me to dive in your worst
Waters to get whatever you went
And dropped down in there I’ll
Say bottoms up and just swallow
Every drop of that bracken death
You got in you I’ll make it
Something better that’s
The way I work these days
I am self employed with
A bisnes card that says
URGENT VANGUARD JAMIE
OUTSTANDING RICE JAMIE
FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE OUTLAWS OF THE MARSH
DISTINGUISHED OUTLAW OF THE MARSH
THE ONLY PRESENT OUTLAW OF THE MARSH
PERSON WHO AIMS TO ASSIST MINORLY
I AM NOT LIKE MISS CLEO AT ALL AND I DON’T EVER THINK
ABOUT AIMS
YOU’LL FIND ME AROUND
I waltzed the latenite with the owls
I was the outlaw of the marsh I
Realized that I had to get out of there quick
Because sometimes I feel myself losing it
ya in fact I had been raving for like a week
I left the marsh mountain woods and just
Ended up in Florida no telling how it was
While I was going down there it was like I
Was fartin blackouts for miles and miles but
When I’m up on my mountain and I go
Down, in my head I go down to tell folks what
I have found and I dreamed wow it was a
Long dream it almost seems real if it was
I’d do it again tomorrow and if it was really
Only a dream about Uncle Bob who I went to kill but
I’ll walk the same paths I
Went down
Whenever I get the time and it
Was just like this