As for Crocs, she hangs out and she chills around but never really seems to do anything. You never hear about like, “Whoa, Crocs threw a beer bottle at a cop last weekend.” Or like, “Whoa, Crocs went to Denny’s with us latenight and got a damn pancake.” That’s the kind of stuff I mean by doing something, because usually if over the weekend someone does something you usually hear about it on Monday.
Not Crocs, she’s just sort of there, even more because she doesn’t wear her Crocs anymore and just has the nickname, and its like the name Crocs turned into something else, like the nickname never had anything to do with those shitty looking clog sandals and was about something else.
The only real story that goes around about Crocs comes from one dude that tried to take her out once. He took her water skiing on the lake because his Dad’s got a boat.
At first it seems weird that he decided to let her drive the boat. But when you add it up, Arizona probably doesn’t have any water, so it makes sense that she didn’t know how to water-ski, and to strap her in those water skis and watch the trouble, awkward as shit, that comes with just trying just to stand up and get going on the damn things would have been the worst date of all long history.
So then it sort of makes a kind of sense that he decided to let her drive the boat while he skied. This was probably a bad decision. I mean, it was probably just a shitty date in general but it turned into one worth telling about when she started to pull some serious shit behind the wheel of that boat.
Either way, this was going on for a little while and I’d guess that nobody was having much of a time at all, when after giving one of his thumbs ups the dude said she just gunned it, like put that boat going full speed cigarette boat from the 80’s in Miami type of velocity, while the dude was just dangling on with his white knuckles, grinding his teeth into the past, because he sure as hell didn’t see this kind of stuff coming from old Crocs.
But then he feels himself jerk and opens his eyes again and sees that Crocs just yanking at the steering wheel like she’s sitting at the seat of an arcade game with no credits at all on it. He sees old Crocs’ hair spazzing around in the wind, her hair spazzing out like it was its own thing, totally apart from Crocs.
She's whipping the boat around in all sorts of ways that a boat should definitely not be whipped around in, and ends up trying, more than once, to make the boat do like a 90 degree turn at 100 mph .
Eventually she must have started to feel the same way, because she just brought the boat back down to the slow chug and the dude sort of sunk on his water skis again.
But no hard feelings with stuff like that, you know? I heard that everyone there was laughing the whole time. Everyone was: the dude, his dog (who was sitting on the boat) and some old people that were under tiny umbrellas on the shore, no doubt drinking Coronas. As for Crocs, she was just having a regular old ball, regular attack of the giggles. But there are all sorts of different kinds of laughs.
And that was the date, or how it was told. I don’t even know if any of it is true.
The only real story that goes around about Crocs comes from one dude that tried to take her out once. He took her water skiing on the lake because his Dad’s got a boat.
At first it seems weird that he decided to let her drive the boat. But when you add it up, Arizona probably doesn’t have any water, so it makes sense that she didn’t know how to water-ski, and to strap her in those water skis and watch the trouble, awkward as shit, that comes with just trying just to stand up and get going on the damn things would have been the worst date of all long history.
So then it sort of makes a kind of sense that he decided to let her drive the boat while he skied. This was probably a bad decision. I mean, it was probably just a shitty date in general but it turned into one worth telling about when she started to pull some serious shit behind the wheel of that boat.
It is said that she started out normal, sort of boringly chugging along like she was driving an old tug boat, while the dude was back there on his water skis, sort of sinking because they weren’t going that fast; both of them probably just thinking about how awkward and shitty of a date it was.
I mean seriously, the dude should know that its cool his dad has a boat and whatever, but how did he even plan to get the mack on when she’s way ahead on the boat and he’s dragging along back there wearing a poofy life-jacket? She’d look back and the dude would see and give a thumbs up like, “Yeah, this rules! Aren’t we having a time here or what?” Or something shitty like that that people do when they’re not having any fun but trying to pretend that they are.
Either way, this was going on for a little while and I’d guess that nobody was having much of a time at all, when after giving one of his thumbs ups the dude said she just gunned it, like put that boat going full speed cigarette boat from the 80’s in Miami type of velocity, while the dude was just dangling on with his white knuckles, grinding his teeth into the past, because he sure as hell didn’t see this kind of stuff coming from old Crocs.
So the boat is just mowing through the lake and leaving the water behind it torn up and bubbling like hot piss and when the dude gets himself together enough to open his eyes for a second he sees Crocs gunning it right towards a bunch of rocks sticking out of the water and he just closes his eyes again and just sort of says, “Oh fuck” or “Oh well.”
But then he feels himself jerk and opens his eyes again and sees that Crocs just yanking at the steering wheel like she’s sitting at the seat of an arcade game with no credits at all on it. He sees old Crocs’ hair spazzing around in the wind, her hair spazzing out like it was its own thing, totally apart from Crocs.
She's whipping the boat around in all sorts of ways that a boat should definitely not be whipped around in, and ends up trying, more than once, to make the boat do like a 90 degree turn at 100 mph .
The dude said that every time she did that he would go slingshotting out like someone snotting a booger and felt like his whole body was made of liquid boogers. He couldn’t explain why he didn’t just let go, but he didn’t, and Crocs kept going on her maniac spree for a while, shredding the boat around the lake until the whole thing was white hot and boiling over. Eventually the dude even stopped thinking it was such a big deal that Crocs was probably trying to kill him or both of them.
Eventually she must have started to feel the same way, because she just brought the boat back down to the slow chug and the dude sort of sunk on his water skis again.
But no hard feelings with stuff like that, you know? I heard that everyone there was laughing the whole time. Everyone was: the dude, his dog (who was sitting on the boat) and some old people that were under tiny umbrellas on the shore, no doubt drinking Coronas. As for Crocs, she was just having a regular old ball, regular attack of the giggles. But there are all sorts of different kinds of laughs.
And that was the date, or how it was told. I don’t even know if any of it is true.
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